It was just this week that the leader of South Carolina broke silence on the fact that he had been having an affair with a woman other than his wife. In full view of the cameras and lights, he took to the podium to answer questions regarding what is usually a most personal issue. Reporters eager for “the news” listened and then began the vultures’ task of pulling at the flesh of his emotions trying to “make a good news story better.” With the media claiming that the public has a right to know and the governor obviously feeling encumbered to provide answers, the feeding frenzy was “off to the races.”
While few would suggest that affairs of the heart or flesh are legitimate news stories, particularly when spouses and children are involved, sometimes an event or activity falls outside of those behaviors that are considered acceptable for public officials and, for that matter, people in any leadership roles. Whether the culprit is Bill Aramony (former president of United Way of America), the former governor of New Jersey, the former attorney general of the State of New York, or now the governor of South Carolina, their life in the bubble assures them that the microscope is always there.
There exists a necessary tension between acceptable behavior and that which is not. Where the line is drawn between these – what one can do and what one cannot – is often more like a trip line that explodes the bomb than an explicit rule that states You cannot do this as it will destroy your ability to lead. Leaders recognizing that the expectations for them are different than those for the general public should be cause to always keep the guard in place and make sure that their back is always protected. But leaders are human as well, and they often believe that the gamble for them is lessened when they go to extraordinary means to find a mechanism for cover-up. If I can do what I want to do and miss the public eye, is it worth taking the risk? Obviously, leaders do take these chances, and they often pay the price for their lack of judgment. If it were not for the fact that bad behavior is rewarded – at least to the extent that it isn’t caught or is so subterranean that no one finds out – leaders would likely stay the course as expected in the culture that surrounds them.
What leaders all too often fail to believe is that it can happen to them; sexual misconduct or something else equally unacceptable finds its way into the life of the person at the top and when it does, it usually shows up in the bubble. No one can argue the benefit of going across the line, but it does happen. Leaders play by different rules and those who judge them do so by different rules as well. Behavior that is accommodated in “Joe the Plumber” is not acceptable for corporate CEOs, college presidents, governors, congressman and senators, and yes, even presidents of countries.
As I’ve written in my book Apex Thinking regarding the personal aspects of the executive position, leaders must recognize that there are few things they do that do not impact the lives of those around them, particularly family and close friends. Leadership is about getting others to do what you want them to do, it is about controlling and managing a larger environment, it is a heady experience, and it is life in a bubble. Leaders must take the role it for what it is and expect those who view from the sidelines, while cheering you on, will look for every mistake and probably not forgive what you’ve come to the altar to confess.
